Whether you realize it or not, all day long you’re affirming what you want in your life with the words you say and the thoughts you choose to think. Not sure about you, but there are lots of things that pass through my mind each day that I definitely wouldn’t want to experience as my reality.
What about you?
Are you accidently attracting things you don’t want into your life with your words?
Picture this, you get to work, go make your coffee and stand around gossiping with co-workers for five or ten minutes. The conversation moves to what an asshole your boss or a fellow worker is and how everyone really hates working with them. Everyone is putting their two cents worth in and having a good old bitch session. You all agree that the place would be so much better without them, then head off to start your work for the day.
What frame of mind do you think you are in by this stage?
When your boss or co-worker approaches you and begins to speak, your thoughts are probably focused on how much you dislike them before they even get a word out. Unconsciously, you’ve created a barrier between you before the day has even really begun. How do you think your day is going to go? I’m guessing your boss or co-worker will behave exactly how you expect him to.
Now, you could be sitting there right now saying, “well you don’t know this person, they really are an asshole!”.
Possibly they are.
But, stop for a minute and think critically about this. Does absolutely everyone have the same experience that you do? At first you’re probably going to say yes, of course they do.
But really, do they?
Start searching your mind for the people who do seem to get along with this person. Do you hear them continually bitching and moaning about them? Are they unattached to what is going on and just focused on doing their own thing? Maybe they seem oblivious to the things that drive you crazy and possibly even think you’re the one with the problem?
How much more enjoyable do you think their day is if they’re focusing their thoughts and attention on other more important things as opposed to how much they hate their boss or co-worker?
By constantly speaking and thinking about how much you hate your boss or co-worker, you are actually affirming what you want. You’re telling your mind that you want to feel so badly about this person, so the universe goes off and gives you exactly that. Each day you have more experiences which help to keep you having an asshole for a boss or team mate. Which is what you wanted isn’t it?
It’s not what you want?
Okay, well let’s make a few simple changes and see if you start to notice any difference in your relationship with this person.
First up, stop bitching about them. This has probably become a habit, so it might take a bit of conscious effort to break. Maybe instead of heading in to make coffee when everyone else does, hang back and go in on your own once the gossip session is over.
Secondly, every time you think of something negative about your boss or co-worker, follow it up with a positive thought about them. Yep, this one can be extremely challenging at first, but it will get easier.
Last of all, start affirming what you want at work instead of focusing on what you don’t want. You can say these out loud or softly under your breath, or just think of them repeatedly in your mind.
Here’s a few ideas to get you started.
“I feel fully supported by my boss and co-workers, and enjoy coming to work”.
“My boss is easy to get along with and we have a strong working relationship”.
“Work is much more enjoyable now I am focused on what I love about it.”
“I am grateful to be working with such a great team of people”.
Just remember, keep them in the present tense and avoid using words like no, don’t or can’t. You will feel like you’re completely bullshitting yourself at first. This is perfectly normal and it will fade away. If however you feel a strong resistance or sense of negativity to what you are saying, change it. These need to be able to become believable for you.
Give it a try and let me know how things improve once you start affirming what you want at work.